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HemiDude
Scorpio
Boat Racer
Glendale, AZ and Havasu
Posts: 587
APPD 0.09
Post Rank: 56
Say, is your wife doing anything
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Posted: Nov. 04 2009,6:52 pm |
Post # 1 |
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01. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.
03. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
04. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
05. Get rid of your cat.
06. Sunday = sports.
07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
09. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
24. You have enough clothes.
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this post is offered as-is, without warranty. I am not responsible for any consequences which may result in death, injure or damage to your body if you use the provided information to your wife.
Keep the phone handy so you can call 911 when needed. Consult with your attorney if you have any questions.
Real motors are Hemis and Chevys, Fords dont count!
"Stress: (noun) - The confusion created when one's mind overules the body's basic desire to choke the living $hit out of some as$hole that desperately deserves it."
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| Member # 3188 | Joined: 10-22-2007 | |
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GoFastRacer
HDF Supporter
V-Driver For Life!
   
Big River, Ca
Posts: 62,729
APPD 7.90
Post Rank: 1
Spectra20
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Posted: Nov. 05 2009,4:59 am |
Post # 5 |
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| Quote (Carrera Elite @ Nov. 04 2009,8:32 pm) | So....How Bad Do You Hurt??  |
No reply, may be a little beyond hurt!..  
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| Member # 101 | Joined: 3-03-2003 | |
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WATERDOG
Gemini
HDF Silver Supporter
Don't Bother Me, I'm in Havi
MENIFEE, CA
Posts: 10,292
APPD 1.60
Post Rank: 8
ELIMINATOR EAGLE
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Posted: Nov. 05 2009,9:42 am |
Post # 11 |
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Good news, after I regained consciousness last night, Wife asked where I heard this crap. I had to tell her, I swear. Anyway all is forgiven now. 
Oh yeah, the bad news. HemiDude, my would like to have a few words with you.
Edited by WATERDOG on Nov. 05 2009,9:15 pm
"Damn you sure know how to fock things up."-GFR
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| Member # 2868 | Joined: 4-23-2007 | |
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11-24-2024 Three Word Post.....The Next Generation.... (Rep.#19,435) from: BigDog
