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JustMVG
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Posted: Nov. 30 2003,11:53 am |
Post # 1 |
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
--by David Chalmers
Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but
also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such
a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's
dominion maintained.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes
also across you.
Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it
would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its
own free will.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated
that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and
therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the
chicken found it necessary to cross the road. Ludwig Wittgenstein: The
possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and
"road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization
of this potential occurrence.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian
biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
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