RVRGIRL
Taurus
HDF Supporter
Poopsie Bubble Buns
 
Lake Havasu City, AZ
Posts: 2,220
APPD 0.28
Post Rank: 29
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Posted: Jan. 16 2004,2:55 pm |
Post # 1 |
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> >
> >
> > 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was
> > dead.
> > "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
> > "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
> > innocently.
> > You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
> > "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
> > didn't move."
> >
> > 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
> > Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
> > "What?"
> > "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
> > "No, You had your chance. Lights out."
> > Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
> > "WHAT?"
> > "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
> > "I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
> > Five minutes later....."Daaaa-aaaad....."
> > "WHAT !"
> > "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
> >
> > 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
> > finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy
> > thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and
> > keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan,
> > come in or stay out!'"
> >
> > 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
> > tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
> > asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me
> > tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't
> > dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
> > A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice, "The big
> > sissy."
> >
> > 5. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
> > old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
> > shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes,
> > honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
> > "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
> >
> > 6. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
> > Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
> > Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken
> > > > Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the
> > sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do
> > you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said,
> > "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!" The teacher was
> > unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
> >
> > 7. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
> > Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must
> > say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and
> > said,
> > "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was,
> > but mother says I'm not."
> >
> > 8. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with
> > the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys,
> > they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments
> > and asked,
> > "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
> >
> > 9. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands
> > next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a
> > snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair
> > on your
> > Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
> >
> > Now keep that smile on your face and pass it on to someone else!! 
 Thats "MRS" RVRGIRL 2 you..... "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt."
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