JustMVG
Aquarius
Redeemed
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Posts: 324
APPD 0.04
Post Rank: 78
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Posted: Mar. 29 2004,11:30 pm |
Post # 1 |
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TWO TALES of TWO DRIVERS
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding:
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite
puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
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A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy Boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right
thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red
light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit
the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance
to get through the intersection with him. As she was still in mid-rant,
she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very
serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to
the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed,
and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the
cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where
the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind
your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front
of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. And I noticed the 'Choose Life'
license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the
'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated
Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen
the car."
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