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Mrs ScubaFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,7:37 pm Post # 1 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

A friend of mine sent this to me, it is very heartwarming and true......

To be a mom...

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking.
Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.
She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know
that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes "You'll never regret it," I finally say.
Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.


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Mrs big boy toysFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,7:48 pm Post # 2 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I know my time is coming for my kids to be leaving the nest and it's a very scare thought with the world the way it is... :(
Being a mother is the hardest job there is....God bless mothers. :good


God Bless Our Troops past, present, and future......"Thank You"

To all Vietnam Vets. You are all Hero's to me.

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Mrs ScubaFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,8:02 pm Post # 3 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I agree with you. My daughter is only 8 and I can't even start to imagine what it will be like when she gets old and decides she wants to start a family of her own. You worry about them constantly and would give your own life for them.


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Mrs big boy toysFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,8:12 pm Post # 4 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (Mrs Scuba @ Mar. 30 2004,8:02 pm)
I agree with you. My daughter is only 8 and I can't even start to imagine what it will be like when she gets old and decides she wants to start a family of her own. You worry about them constantly and would give your own life for them.

I agree....It's so tough out there and so many things can happen. I have seen some mothers that really don't care about there kids they let them run around in the street and they are around 3 to 5 years old. it's so sad.... :rolleyes


God Bless Our Troops past, present, and future......"Thank You"

To all Vietnam Vets. You are all Hero's to me.

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Mrs ScubaFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,8:44 pm Post # 5 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Not to make it  :cry . I had a friend who had two little ones I believe at the time, their little girl was 2ish and the baby boy was 6mos. Well, she took them to day care and received a call from day care about 2 hours later  saying the baby stopped breathing. Sad to say but when she got there he was alrewady gone, they said it was SIDS although proof shows they left the baby on his back with a bottle in his mouth, alone, when they came back he was turning blue. Some people just don't realize what a child means to others if they don't have one of their own. That made me open my eyes and realize with or without me anything can happen to her, and I always am extra careful with her, just in case I can prevent something minor or major from happening. She is all I have other than my hubby. I don't know what I would do without one or the other.


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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,9:10 pm Post # 6 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Beautiful! And if I would have read that @ 20..... I don't know if it would have inpacted me as it did now. For... now every onuce of me feels.............What a wonderfully scary thing motherhood really is! God bless us all !


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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,9:12 pm Post # 7 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

ooppssss! This is Silver, on Delusions account! I repeat this is Silver!  I got lost in emotions reading the letter..............and forgot to log him out and me in.............


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Mrs ScubaFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,9:14 pm Post # 8 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

That's ok, if it would have been Dave, we would of seen his motherly insticts kickin' in. j.k  :rotflmao


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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,9:15 pm Post # 9 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

See it's me...I logged out and back in.................. :stupid  Now I need to out the pack to bed.........thanks for sharing Mrs. Scuba that was great!


It's a whole new year!

Where my girls at?

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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,9:17 pm Post # 10 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

:rotflmao  :rotflmao  :rotflmao get the pack to bed............ :stupid


It's a whole new year!

Where my girls at?

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Mrs big boy toysFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,10:24 pm Post # 11 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (Silver @ Mar. 30 2004,9:17 pm)
:rotflmao  :rotflmao  :rotflmao get the pack to bed............ :stupid

:rotflmao That was funny ...Thanks Silver I needed that..... :D
How many kids do you have? I know Mrs scuba has a daughter.
I have 1 son and 1 daughter and 3 step sons. :D


God Bless Our Troops past, present, and future......"Thank You"

To all Vietnam Vets. You are all Hero's to me.

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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 30 2004,11:29 pm Post # 12 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

a daughter. and a son................8/10......


It's a whole new year!

Where my girls at?

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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,5:57 am Post # 13 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Nice.  But remember, that goes for Dads too :good   Some of my most memorable times have come because of my kids.  Good and bad, I remember it all.....and wouldn't trade it for anything :good




OBAMA=OneBigAssMistakeAmerica
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Mrs big boy toysFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,6:04 am Post # 14 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (BigBoyToys @ Mar. 31 2004,5:57 am)
Nice.  But remember, that goes for Dads too :good   Some of my most memorable times have come because of my kids.  Good and bad, I remember it all.....and wouldn't trade it for anything :good

Your a great Dad... :good Your always there for the kids. You always show you care and love them. They know they can count on you.
They all know you love them and want them to succeed in life. God bless Dads. :good


Edited by Mrs big boy toys on Mar. 31 2004,6:07 am


God Bless Our Troops past, present, and future......"Thank You"

To all Vietnam Vets. You are all Hero's to me.

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Mrs big boy toysFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,6:14 am Post # 15 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (Silver @ Mar. 30 2004,11:29 pm)
a daughter. and a son................8/10......

My son is 16,my daughter is going to be 14 on 4/4/04.Step sons- 15,11,9. It's tough having teenagers. We are lucky we have great kids.


Edited by Mrs big boy toys on Mar. 31 2004,6:15 am


God Bless Our Troops past, present, and future......"Thank You"

To all Vietnam Vets. You are all Hero's to me.

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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,6:16 am Post # 16 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

"The Brady Bunch, The Brady Bunch, that's the way we became the Brady Bunch" :D  :laugh




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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,8:45 am Post # 17 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

:good  :rotflmao


It's a whole new year!

Where my girls at?

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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,3:02 pm Post # 18 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Its very true for fathers...Fathers and daughters usually have a very special bond that is different than what they have with their mothers. My daughter and me can wink at each other and know what it means. She's nearly 11 now and I haven't figured out what my emotions will be when the times comes.
I have a slight clue because my son is older and has left the house for school(back now tho). It was a strange feeling of seperation anxiety. Now he's on the verge of leaving again and moving to Colorado, his G'friend is there. Again I want him to go and follow his dreams/goals but I am beginning to feel the seperation again....its weird regardless.


Ain't life Grand? Treat it that way.
The Love of my Life, Jan.
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,4:15 pm Post # 19 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Thanks for sharing that Mrs. Scuba. There are no words to describe the joy of being a Mother and Father. I am so sorry to hear that story about the lady who lost her child. I don't know what I would have done. My Son is my purpose for being here and my reason for living ( I don't have a Hubby yet). My Son is the air I breathe and the Sun in my sky, even when it's gloomy out. He lights up my life.  :angry  :)  :rainbow


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Mrs ScubaFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,4:49 pm Post # 20 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

How are you River Babe,? I haven't seen you for a while.
I completely agree with you. Your children are your life. ;)


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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,5:03 pm Post # 21 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I am doing good. I just bought a house and I will be moving in 2 weeks. :good  How has your little family been?  :)


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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,6:20 pm Post # 22 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

We've all been doing really good. Congratulations about the house. Where are you moving to?




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Mrs ScubaFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,6:23 pm Post # 23 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Sorry, I guess al of us do this. The prvious post was mine, not Scubas. :banghead


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Post Icon Posted: Mar. 31 2004,7:42 pm Post # 24 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

DUDE,  there so needed to be a "DON'T READ THIS IF YOU ARE PMS'ing" caution on this thread.... I just stopped crying.    :cry  WOW, I'm not a mom, I probably never will be, but I understand it from so many of my friends that are.  They are constantly telling me and expressing to me the same things that are in the above.  

I have a friend that has stood by her 16 year old son as he's gone through Cancer and Chemotherapy treatment twice.  She's a strong person and always has been, but if there was a person responsible for this (like a criminal) I guarntee, she would have found a way to find this person and kill them.  Her love for her son is so intense.  

I admire and respect moms (and the good dads) of the world.  
:love       :grouphug


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Post Icon Posted: April 02 2004,3:08 pm Post # 25 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (Mrs Scuba @ Mar. 31 2004,6:23 pm)
Sorry, I guess al of us do this. The prvious post was mine, not Scubas. :banghead

Sorry to bring this back up to the top, but I bought one in Bellflower. Kind of close to you guys...no??!! :)


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