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Ziggy

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Posted: Aug. 31 2004,4:26 pm

Post # 1

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a grant designating
Southern slang,
or "Y'allbonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The
following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.

1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.

2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"

3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow".
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and
took it to Lanner."

5) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam.
Usage: "A tornader jes went thru Bammer an' left
$20,000,00 in improvements."

6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck,
and I ain't herd from him in munts."

7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have anutter bare."

9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that
pickup truck my brother
from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in
my pickup truck."

12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all
in my pickup truck,
that thang's gonna catch far."

13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh
don't git a flat tar
in my pickup truck."

14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise,
I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime."

15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You young'uns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup
yuh."

17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place.
Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."

19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstand a wurd he sed . . . must
be from some
farn country."

20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe . . . give 'im some are!!"

22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."

23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job
with that
bob war fence cump'ny?"

24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah . . . haze ignert. He
ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see."
Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."

26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - contraction.
Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City. . . view?"

27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

Ain't life Grand? Treat it that way.
The Love of my Life, Jan.