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Havasu Doug Male

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,2:03 pm

Post # 1

I always enjoy reading one of these per day. It gives me something positive to think about throughout the day. Â Maybe some of you will benefit from these as well.

Here's todays:

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice;
it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

*William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925 American Politician}

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Wifey

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,3:39 pm

Post # 2

Are you going to give us a new one each day?

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RiverLiver Male

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,5:19 pm

Post # 3

1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack gets titbit.
2. Man who lay woman on ground gets peace on earth.
3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.
4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
5. Passionate kiss like spider web - lead to undoing of fly.
6. Man with hole in pockets, feels cocky all day.
7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
8. Virginity like balloon - one prick, all gone!
9. Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
11. Baseball all wrong. Man with four balls can't walk.
12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
14. Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
15. Man who walk through airport sideways is going to Bangkok.
16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
18. When lady say no, she mean maybe, when lady say maybe, she mean yes. When lady say yes - she no lady!
19. Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up in morning with solution in hand.

Don't Be a Hater

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twistedpair Male

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,6:17 pm

Post # 4

I've always liked "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy:

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

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RiverLiver Male

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,6:24 pm

Post # 5

Quote (twistedpair @ Feb. 18 2003,6:17 pm)

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

Don't Be a Hater

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Wifey

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,9:13 pm

Post # 6

Silly me...I thought we were going to get inspirational daily quotes...what was I thinking? :rotflmao

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jordy

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,9:24 pm

Post # 7

Deep Thoughts were the best part of SNL when it stopped being funny.

"At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill."

Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â

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jordy

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,9:27 pm

Post # 8

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â

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Wifey

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,9:32 pm

Post # 9

Quote (jordanpaulk @ Feb. 18 2003,9:27 pm)

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

Jordy...you are quickly loosing all mojo...what'z up? :confused

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jordy

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,9:33 pm

Post # 10

I'm not losing mojo, in fact, it's all coming back to me... :cool

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â

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locogringo Male

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Posted: Feb. 18 2003,11:46 pm

Post # 11

I'm afraid to reply to this thread for fear that I might get sucked into the abyss of abyss's

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Havasu Doug Male

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Posted: Feb. 19 2003,2:16 am

Post # 12

Quote (Wifey @ Feb. 18 2003,3:39 pm)

Are you going to give us a new one each day?

Yeah Wifey, I'll try to put a real one up everyday. When I created this thread and called it "Daily thought", Jack Handy came to my mind as well. :rotflmao

Those are hilarious, but the real ones are cool too. :cool

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Havasu Doug Male

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Posted: Feb. 19 2003,8:32 am

Post # 13

"Duties are not performed for duties' sake, but because their
neglect would make the man uncomfortable. Â A man performs but
one duty- the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making
himself agreeable to himself."

*Mark Twain {1835-1910 American Writer & Humorist}

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blown 472

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Posted: Feb. 19 2003,8:33 am

Post # 14

You trying to take over for lovey dovey covey??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests???

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Havasu Doug Male

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Posted: Feb. 19 2003,8:35 am

Post # 15

Quote (blown 472 @ Feb. 19 2003,8:33 am)

You trying to take over for lovey dovey covey??

I actually like the joke ones better, but I get the real ones emailed to me automatically everyday.

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jordy

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Posted: Feb. 19 2003,8:51 am

Post # 16

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â

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Havasu Doug Male

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Posted: Feb. 20 2003,9:41 am

Post # 17

"A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

*Walter Bagehot {1826-1877 English Journalist}

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jordy

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Posted: Feb. 20 2003,10:04 am

Post # 18

I found the answer to 78's rain question from yesterday.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â

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Wifey

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Posted: Feb. 20 2003,10:41 am

Post # 19

Now I was always told God loves you and is happy with you no matter what, because he forgives our sins.

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jordy

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Posted: Feb. 20 2003,12:12 pm

Post # 20

Someone lied to you Wifey... Our God is an angry God.. . :angry

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?

Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â

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Havasu Doug Male

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Posted: Feb. 21 2003,7:35 am

Post # 21

"When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced
courses of action you should take - choose the bolder."

*W.J. Slim

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miller19j

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Posted: Feb. 21 2003,8:10 am

Post # 22

Life is a garden, dig it!

- Joe Dirt

Hey Sleek Bite Me!

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jordy

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Posted: Feb. 21 2003,8:53 am

Post # 23

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â

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Wifey

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Posted: Feb. 25 2003,2:06 pm

Post # 24

Quote (jordanpaulk @ Feb. 21 2003,8:53 am)

Silly me...I always thought it was made up of three words
MA-NKI-ND Learn something new every day

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Havasu Doug Male

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Posted: Feb. 25 2003,2:20 pm

Post # 25

Sorry that I haven't put up the REAL ones for the past 2 days, but I thought they were a little lame. I don't hand pick from a huge database. I get one a day emailed to me.

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114 replies since Feb. 18 2003,2:03 pm

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