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Ziggy
Cancer
Slum Lord
  
Oceanside, Ca./Lake Havasu, Az.
Posts: 7,441
APPD 0.96
Post Rank: 10
2016 Nordic 26 Deck
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,9:28 am |
Post # 1 |
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Having to sit down and make plans for 'when' my parents pass is tough, but thats kinda what yesterday afternoon was after having taken her on a walk around the neighborhood. My mom has declined rather rapidly in the past 6 months. Then with my brother, we had to sit there and divy up who gets what when that inevitable day arrives, this debate was managed by by father. Hard part was telling my brother I don't trust his wife one iota. 
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The real kicker was after leaving their house around 8pm, I got home and about 10 minutes later I see ambulances and firetrucks hauling ass up my parents street. Of course I kinda panic so I jump in the car to check. Ends up a neighbor of about 50 yrs old passed away. This poor fellow was caring for his 80+ yr old mother with severe Alzheimer. I told the paramedics that she should be in the house and he had a sudden look of panic and ran back into the house. The nearest relative for them was probably a couple hours away.
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I can tell you I have had my fill of Hospitals, Doctors and failing health lately.......it sure makes me realize even more how limited our time is here on this Earth.
Ain't life Grand? Treat it that way. The Love of my Life, Jan.  |
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| Member # 192 | Joined: 8-27-2003 | |
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jordy
Taurus
HDF Bronze Supporter
Time goes by, the bullshit gets deeper!
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Posts: 2,467
APPD 0.31
Post Rank: 27
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,9:40 am |
Post # 4 |
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Yeah, this kind of stuff sucks. Just lost my Grandpa in January, and dealing with that hasn't been fun. Fortunately, he had all his affairs in order and was sharp and on his game right up to the end. But it's everything after that has been tough. Getting Grandma out of the house and into an assisted living facility, getting the house cleaned up and sold (closed on Friday), as well as his shop (he was a retired citrus farmer and had 50 years worth of stuff in there), has been trying, to say the least.
Already told my mom that she has about another 5 years before I'm throwing her in a home so we don't have to deal with it.  
Everyone is a tough guy, until you meet one. Â
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| Member # 3 | Joined: 12-03-2002 | |
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shueman
Libra
HDF Gold Supporter
Born To Drive...
Alta Loma CA
Posts: 17,228
APPD 2.27
Post Rank: 4
NADA
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,9:44 am |
Post # 6 |
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| Quote (Ziggy @ Mar. 03 2008,9:28 am) | Having to sit down and make plans for 'when' my parents pass is tough, but thats kinda what yesterday afternoon was after having taken her on a walk around the neighborhood. My mom has declined rather rapidly in the past 6 months. Then with my brother, we had to sit there and divy up who gets what when that inevitable day arrives, this debate was managed by by father. Hard part was telling my brother I don't trust his wife one iota.
.
The real kicker was after leaving their house around 8pm, I got home and about 10 minutes later I see ambulances and firetrucks hauling ass up my parents street. Of course I kinda panic so I jump in the car to check. Ends up a neighbor of about 50 yrs old passed away. This poor fellow was caring for his 80+ yr old mother with severe Alzheimer. I told the paramedics that she should be in the house and he had a sudden look of panic and ran back into the house. The nearest relative for them was probably a couple hours away.
.
I can tell you I have had my fill of Hospitals, Doctors and failing health lately.......it sure makes me realize even more how limited our time is here on this Earth. |
Sorry to hear....been doing much the same for over 7 years now..it's really hard. Dad passed (2+ yrs ago) and mom still refuses to move down from Barfs-Field...despite her declining condition.
FYI, be sure to get everything in WRITING (signed and notarized), including Full Power over finances, medical, etc. I'm sure your there...it just helps keep those "relative distractions" at bay...  
God Bless Them Forever... 
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| Member # 376 | Joined: 2-01-2004 | |
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Ziggy
Cancer
Slum Lord
Oceanside, Ca./Lake Havasu, Az.
Posts: 7,441
APPD 0.96
Post Rank: 10
2016 Nordic 26 Deck
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,10:46 am |
Post # 8 |
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Yeah, dad is a bean counter so details were his life. Estate planning is complete, durables, directives and all that is in order with me being the trustee.
I have no issues whatsoever with my brother, we're close, its his wife I don't trust who has wished my parents be dead long ago. My dad had something in the trust that would have put her indirectly in charge of something she has no business with, so that's the air I needed to clear with my bro yesterday....and all is well in that regard now.
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The lady's son that died last night was the lady I talked about before. She would come over to visit with my mother and the two of them would not recognize each other although they've been neighbors and friends for nearly 40 years. Alzheimers is a nasty disease, it robs folks of their lifelong memories. My mother used to be full of stories and memories, now she barely knows where she is anymore. Breaks my fricken heart.
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Jordy, sorry to hear of your grandfathers passing. I know I mentioned it before but I'm just reiterating it. Do yourself a favor and make time for your family as time flies by faster than you will ever guess.
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Shuey, In one way its good your mother has the feistiness to stay put where she's comfortable so long as there is someone near to help when its needed.
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Cali, if you're down this way anytime and need a hand don't hesitate to ask.
Ain't life Grand? Treat it that way. The Love of my Life, Jan. |
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| Member # 192 | Joined: 8-27-2003 | |
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PoonToonBabe
Taurus
Babe
AZ
Posts: 677
APPD 0.09
Post Rank: 53
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,11:22 am |
Post # 9 |
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Sorry to hear that things are rough for you right now Zig... My prayers are with you guys during this difficult time.
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| Member # 1130 | Joined: 3-05-2005 | |
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My Man's Sportin' Wood
Capricorn
HDF Supporter
Hallett Hottie
Flathead Lake Montana/Lake Havasu City
Posts: 3,500
APPD 0.45
Post Rank: 20
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,4:56 pm |
Post # 12 |
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I'm sorry you have to deal with that issue. My parents health has begun to decline all of a sudden. They never took care of themselves physically, so now, in their mid-50s, it's time to pay the piper. They are really young IMO, and should not have the issues they have. Thankfully, they have a good solid trust, and my brother and his wife both have a level head.
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| Member # 250 | Joined: 10-17-2003 | |
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GoFastRacer
HDF Supporter
V-Driver For Life!
Big River, Ca
Posts: 62,729
APPD 7.90
Post Rank: 1
Spectra20
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,8:59 pm |
Post # 14 |
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Damn, this shit is way too sad  sure hope things work out for everyone!..
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| Member # 101 | Joined: 3-03-2003 | |
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Ziggy
Cancer
Slum Lord
Oceanside, Ca./Lake Havasu, Az.
Posts: 7,441
APPD 0.96
Post Rank: 10
2016 Nordic 26 Deck
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Posted: Mar. 03 2008,10:09 pm |
Post # 16 |
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| Quote (AZKC @ Mar. 03 2008,8:53 pm) | | Got it today myself Zig  my Mom is spending the night in the Hospital, severe breathing problems. She seems ok but has no energy. She's been sick off and on since Christmas. She had a ambulance ride at around 4 am today. |
Hang in and help however you can man...
After all the hoppla last night I still got called at pre-dawn to help get mom off the livingroom floor, she slipped off the rocking chair again
I've found someone my dad is comfortable with to help out with her care and making some meals for them a couple, three days a week. He's overwhelmed and tired as an owl on dayshift.
Edited by Ziggy on Mar. 03 2008,10:16 pm
Ain't life Grand? Treat it that way. The Love of my Life, Jan. |
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HemiDude
Scorpio
Boat Racer
Glendale, AZ and Havasu
Posts: 587
APPD 0.09
Post Rank: 56
Say, is your wife doing anything
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Posted: Mar. 05 2008,12:25 pm |
Post # 22 |
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Hang in there ziggy...I just went through this in the last few years with both my mom and dad. Both my wife and I almost lost it trying to take care of them--it will take a toll on you, just like your neighbor.
Both were in there 80's, and dad was full minded and my mom's care giver. It wore him out-they refused out side help and wanted to live independently at home, plus my dad ran a business in Lake Havasu. We would help every month going to Havasu doing what we could in a weekend, but my other two siblings never helped, one never saw them in 30+ years and other (brother) thrice in 30 years. Then dad got sick and the wife I ended up taking care of both. I too was the POA, Trustee and executor, but when brother smelled money he got several attorneys involved. When they both passed all hell broke loose as he contested the trust. We are still fighting this 3 years later and over $500k in attorneys fees wasted between myself and the trust. There's a whole lot more to this story...
I really feel for your situation. PM me and I can give some pitfalls to look for. When you say your brother's wife could be a problem, it sends a chill down my back....
We will pray for you and your family, and happy to help you with any of our experiences as we can.
Real motors are Hemis and Chevys, Fords dont count!
"Stress: (noun) - The confusion created when one's mind overules the body's basic desire to choke the living $hit out of some as$hole that desperately deserves it."
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PoonToonBabe
Taurus
Babe
AZ
Posts: 677
APPD 0.09
Post Rank: 53
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Posted: Mar. 05 2008,6:01 pm |
Post # 25 |
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Oh gosh, Zig. Â I am so very sorry to hear that she has passed... Â I know nothing I can say is going to be right, so I just want to give ya a big hug.... Â Â
Edited by PoonToonBabe on Mar. 05 2008,6:03 pm
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